When you first said that you were poorly, and after all the results came back as being 'okay' there was a doubt in the back of my mind, a little niggle that just wouldn't go away! For a long time when you were first being sick, for some reason I thought to myself 'how would I cope if Dad died' there were dreams about that event and sadly I didn't handle it too well.... The worst actually happened and you passed away after suffering for so long. If my dreams were like that then - did you dream too? You suffered for so long Dad, you put on a brave face but deep down there must have been something telling you that things aren't good?
Remember when you cried about Uncle Bill finding himself again, about how jealous you were. You cried when you spoke about missing your Mum, this was two weeks before you ended up in hospital! You reached out for her when you were in hospital, she was there waiting for you Dad, I waved my arms round you and told her not to take you!
Was she the one helping me in my dreams too? Without those dreams I would have broken, completely and utterly, there's no denying that, because you were so important in my life and my kids... It was like somebody was helping me prepare for what was about to come? 
My thought is - Do our departed loved ones come to us in times of need? Are they there guiding us through life and ready for our journey to death?
Because after you left this world, it feels like you're holding my hand, I feel safe and loved, days of sadness are less now!
I hope you're with your Mum and Dad and that they are taking care of you. If so - please say thank you for being there, thank you for giving us our wonderful Daddy.
Thank you Daddy for being such a wonderful man, we will never forget you and will always treasure the memories we have of you.
Until we meet again.
Natalie x x x